The ongoing adventures of Paul Gieselman

Without Eyes, The Sky Is Not beautiful.

2011-02-22T22:50:00.000-08:00

SOP: Best quality one can have is the ability to say "my bad, sorry." Share pain to share life. Lifting the burden of another shows strength greater than any muscle. Preconceptions obstruct a childlike approach which inhibits emotional connectivity (at least for me). Many cry out to quench insecurity, woe to those with great need not motivated to stand out. There are somethings that no one will understand, just pray that you have few. Music is not a pleasure, it's a necessity. There is no support groups for the uncommon, the strange, and the indescribable.

2010-08-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

Update: Found a great spot by the river at the cost of a wound that needs stitches it'll never see. "I feel the power of packing flour in to bags every hour. Runnin the packer is like sniffin lacquer...". Logic: True- truth is annoying when we're wrong True- we don't like things that annoy us... you do the math. Wow, I really felt good about this post, now I feel like crap... I miss school.

Of The Few

2010-04-29T21:25:00.000-07:00

Update: Job: flour power. Soon to be private Gieselman... hoo rah. I've accepted my strength which is a benefit to those who see it as a weakness. "Cut down before you cut out" applies to many different areas of life including food, drink, entertainment and even friends. For me, there is fine line between great pain and great joy. My feelings towards jeans are bipolar. Kevin Bacon is. If making the world better makes your life worse is Spock still right? If love falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Technology hasn't stopped advancing, there is no limits to tech, cells are like small machines... what if we're advanced tech? I've learned that it's not the solution that I want, it's not caring about the problem. It's easier to remember the pain than the happiness, but happiness momentarily erases everything bad. DEATH TO SOCKS! Who ever said laughter is the best medicine has never had tonsillitis. Gambling teaches many life lessons AND it's cheaper than tuition!

Trephining

2010-04-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

Fact and faith cannot not coexist. Fact: my computer is in front of me. There is no faith in that. Faith: my truck will start the next time, there is no way I can prove that now. Conclusion, to know something means you don't have faith in it, pick one!

Correct me if I am wrong, but you cannot know something and have faith in something at the same time.

Touchdown!

2009-12-06T19:24:00.000-08:00

awkward supreme

2009-09-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

I think I create awkward situations on purpose subconsciously.

Settle or Affect

2009-09-12T11:07:00.001-07:00

You have two options in this world, one, focus on you directly and focus on you indirectly. Option one is what you see the most, people who spend most of their time thinking about their career, their house, their renovated bathroom, their car, their toys, basically every thing that effects the individual. Option two is the people that are actually making this world a better place. They are the ones that are focused on those around them, their environment, their family, basically everything that effects that which effects the individual.
If you didn't catch that, here's an example... someone goes out on a day off to do something but cannot find anything to do, thus complaining that there is nothing to do. Well, take this person and give that attitude to the majority of the population and you get a shitty town, because nobody is doing anything. Now, if said person realized this, what do you think they would do?
The logical thing would be to make something happen for other people to do. You copy this thinking to the majority of the population and you have a great town.

In summary, focus on those are around you who will in turn focus on you. It's what I call righteous selfishness.

... and I'm not saying I'm righteously selfish, lately I've been leaning towards option one and I want to change.

Idiot Encouragment

2009-07-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

Why does Chris Crocker exist? Lets put aside our search for God, and try to understand this enigma. I'm not saying this because he's a heshe, or that he is crazy defensive about Britney Spears, or that his voice makes me want to shoot roman candles in my ears. This person has nothing beneficial, positive, educational or meaningful to say! Why does he exist?!!? Why do we encourage him to keep broadcasting garbage! Chris Crocker is the epitome of our cultures desire for brain sewage. He is a cancer of media, a fart of the internet, an eye crusty on an aging dog who no longer has the ability to clean himself. aaaaahhhhh!

Bacon 'n'.... doesn't matter

2009-06-22T23:06:00.000-07:00

Update: Schools out, looking but not finding a new job. I'm on the brink of social validation. There is no I in team, except when the rest of you're team sucks. Cookie dough is the best way to gain weight and intestinal parasites is the best way to lose it. If sadness is relative, does the same apply for happiness? Stupidity is like putty. Ruth and Edmund were making Bacon... thanks guys! Believing in Japan doesn't have the same consequences as believe in God, stop using that comparison! This is usually where they take my picture. I've been bottling up my name calling, I look forward to the day it all comes out. Cyndi Lauper is a lair! I care about a town that doesn't care for me because it doesn't care for me. The lack of birth control, apparently, expands your religion better than anything else. I just realized that those who read this know me better than those who don't... is this sad or therapeutic?

Yes until no, but still yes

2009-06-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

They will not answer if I ask. They have an answer but will not give, because they don't know why, and they wont know why until I ask, then they will not answer not because they don't want to, but because I asked.

2009-06-16T02:40:00.000-07:00

DA-LETED

Everyone has they're place

2009-06-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

Bullies, usually, are the ones to tell us when we're being stupid, whereas friends accept us so if there's something to change, we may not know about it. I'm not pro-bully, but we gotta be a little more harsh with the ones we love. The truth is, a lot of people do care what others think of them.

I care for you for me

2009-05-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

Update:
I love my town. 5 season finales, 5 reasons to go for a walk. One who flipflops in shame is the one who learns the best. There is power in a hug and calories in chocolate. I'll have to shave my face but I'll pass on shooting people. I don't express myself well and as it turns out I miss a lot of people who have no idea I miss them. I want to support my favorite TV shows so that people don't lose their jobs but I can't support them till I have a good job, (I thought about donating money directly to the producers of the office, so lame). Communication is the problem and the solution. My life in one word... Raitronebtluvatily. My foot hasn't been as loose as I would like. If we remove emotions and groom your logic your left with one truth... righteous selfishness is the foundation of all that is good and pleasing for the many,e.g. Kevin Bacon in Footloose.

Thoughts to ponder:

Democracy isn't just the right to vote, it allows us to approach our representatives with our concerns... stop you're whining and go write a letter!!

Just because Church and state broke up, doesn't mean they still can't be friends

Vote STD... I mean, STV

2009-05-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

It kinda makes fun of itself...

"The Sex Party would change Victoria Day to Eros Day to celebrate and encourage sex-positive expression"

"Instruction in sexual gradualism would teach a teen a way to explore the erotic responsiveness of his or her own body without contact with another person"

"The Sex Party would pass legislation requiring all public parks and beaches larger than one hectare to designate areas reserved for nudists."

At least they don't want prostitutes in seniors homes... oh wait, they want that too.

http://www.thesexparty.ca/about-us/platform-provincial

Hate the Haters!!

2009-05-01T09:39:00.001-07:00

Talk about contradiction...

A culture of supposed tolerance built upon an inherently intolerant religion with followers, who some believe they are tolerant and others know they are not, that are afraid of those that are intolerant of intolerance.... wtf

The Needs of the Many...

2009-04-26T22:47:00.000-07:00

12 days from today...

Do not shy from what you are. For often the insecure find freedom in truth, but the confident and proud fight in vain.

With all this so called light, why aren't we walking the path? If you stare at the torch you lose direction and the torch is useless.

Live long and prosper.

Brain Vomit

2009-04-20T23:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just feel like spewing out ideas and since I am overly contemplative...
If God says it's best for us to obey his law, that does not mean it is best for him to do the same, thus, logically, he would not be unfaithful or unjust if he lies or devices.

I do not believe in absolute or universal morality. Some people say that certain actions are " just wrong " or that " it's the right thing to do." Rights and wrongs are simply descriptions of and answer to a question. 2+2=4. 4 is right if you want the logical answer. It is wrong eat poison if you want to live. So, a 'right' or 'wrong' cannot simply exist on its own, they have to be in a response to a question. Why is it wrong to murder? Just because? Or is it the wrong answer to a question. How do we protect ourselves... we do not condone murder, we punish it, we teach ourselves to hate it. That is the 'right' answer. God's laws are to protect us and offer us a chance at a peaceful life ( or so I interpret ). If his 'rights' and 'wrongs' are an answer to a question regarding humans and their condition, then they are not universal, they are simply enforced suggestions for our benefit that if not heeded come with consequences in relative outcome and in the afterlife.

Lets stop calling them sins and start calling them what they are. I think that would make more of an impact.

Politicians, ideally, should care for the people and believe in democracy. If the people choose one, than the other should be happy that democracy been implemented and should offer their support in a positive way. If most people decided they want to cut down all the trees in the world, then democracy says that is what should happen. If people decide they want to destroy all things that cause pollution, then that is what should happen. Democracy is a dictatorship of many. The many should decide what happens.

I like things that are fun. Food tastes good. TV makes me happy. Girls are hot but not the ugly ones. Red pens make me feel like a failure when I fail, boohoo. I've heard of some bands before they were popular, that makes me as cool as them.

what was that?

2009-03-23T14:54:00.000-07:00

No really, why do I get away with this stuff?

conflict is not disbelief

2009-02-26T22:30:00.000-08:00

Update: I'm currently in a relationship with caffeine. No matter how much stuff I'm involved in, I still find the time to lose my mind. Seriously, I'm not kidding, Flight of the conchords makes me want to vomit because I laugh so hard. Raisins in a cardboard box should NOT BE CONSIDERED CANDY. I realized I'm out of shape when I got exhausted while fighting bad guys in my day dreams. There actually IS joy in cooking! I am an extremist that fluctuates too much to follow through with anything. I wonder what Kevin Bacon is doing right now. I have learned many a life lessons from Star Trek, no really. Believing in Japan is not comparable to believing in God. Future shop won again, damn it! I am so in the dark, assumptions make the foundation of perception (that last comma was not a mistake). You can't change the world if your tired, get some sleep!

2009-01-21T22:26:00.000-08:00

I wish people would make fun of me when they think I'm being ridiculous.

Garble... And Then Some

2009-01-19T14:18:00.000-08:00

Education makes you smarter
but is not a sufficient to being a leader of men.

Confidence can get you far,
however, it can scare off less confident wisdom.

An eye that sees perfection amidst the chaos is foolish
an eye that sees the chaos is perfect holds too much power

One that lacks understanding and love has nothing to offer
A group of many that lack the same dim the light of hope.

Questions?

Does one reject a cry for help from one who can help themselves?

If an undesirable extreme presents itself, should the alternative extreme be considered? Go big or go home?

I'm afraid that the truth about our relative perspectives makes this life undefinable.

Song of Paulomon

2008-12-10T23:24:00.000-08:00

Everything is forgotten on the dance floor. It's not what you drive it's how you drive it. If you don't embrace your inner monster, how will it ever listen to you. Consistency is good, but without being extreme, you're just boring. If you don't say it, they'll never know. The switch that turns off emotions should go both ways. If you've never told anyone to fuck off, you're missing out. If you've never told anyone you need them, you're missing out. We are products of our environment, which is something we can change. If you don't doubt it, then you don't have faith in it. It's ok to escape, as long as you know how to come back. People hate when they are not loved.

8% Daily Intake?!

2008-11-20T22:32:00.000-08:00

Update: New job, new bills, new hobbies. I've realized that having a job keeps me sane. Peanut butter is good to have around, just in case. I've been learning a lot about myself lately, more so about why I do the things I do. I've discovered San Pelle, mmmmm. Family is a good enough reason... if you don't understand now, you will. Battlestar Galactic has won by a frackin' land slide. Love the attraction and love the connection are different, if you didn't know that, you might be living a lie. People who chew with their mouth open are more rude than those who tell them to stop. I love my hockey league, love the connection that is. That damned dog needs to stop barking! If you've never hated a part of yourself, you've never grown. If you've never tried Big Eds, you've never lived. I want to want to .... I can't say that. Bob beat Lothar?!!? I will learn the angry dance, but I'll be happy every moment of it. I wish I had a cat. You can't care unless you've been cared for. Downloading is way cheaper than renting. Universal right and wrongs don't exist, I dare you to prove me wrong. I freakin' love driving forklift. I eat like a smoker smokes. I just wanna hang out and laugh, I'm starting to think that is what life is all about.

2008-11-11T20:55:00.000-08:00

Top ten things to do when you're bored

10. Paint something
9. Create a problem to fix (eg. tie your car keys to the neighbors cat)
8. Write a story about a plumber who has a high sensitivity to smell
7. Make an elaborate meal from things only purchased at a dollar store
6. make a top ten list
5. Read up on an obscure topic, like the joy of stacking
4. Write a brutally honest letter to someone who needs it
3. Move away, don't tell anyone, and leave only GPS coordinates to where you are going
2. Practice dancing for wedding receptions... but I wouldn't know

and the number one thing to do when you're bored is....

1. Phone a friend.

Didn't see that one coming did ya?

Mumbo Jumbo

2008-10-13T22:50:00.000-07:00

Hmm, it seems things are changing. I'm finding myself surprised by my new perspectives. There have been lows, even times when I didn't think I'd make it (not what you think), but in the last few years I've come to understand myself and what drives me. This to me is a wonderful feeling. In that sensationalized movie, Into The Wild, there was a great moment in the end of the movie when he realizes that all the beauty and "freedom" isn't worth it if it isn't shared. I think that's what we all want. To share what we find beautiful with someone else who sees what we see. Unfortunately a good number of people never find that. That to me is the single saddest thing on this planet.

I started a new paragraph for emphasis. Now, you might expect me to say something like " I believe i've found that person" or "nobody gets me and it's so lonely." If I did, how'd you know if I actually meant it? I mean this is just a blog, a form of expression where I control how you view me. My purposes could be tainted by insecurities, need for sympathy, hope that a certain someone will read this or (and the most likely) vanity. It's like when guys write poetry to get in someone's pants or when a girl talks about the sad things in her life not because she's sad but because she's lonely.

They say you should be dependent on God and God alone, but I say we find God through people and people alone.

Run On Sentences Are Great.

2008-09-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

Update: I learned that the thermistor saves lives everyday, but most people have no idea what it is. My new favorite CG movie is Wall-E. I've been working at a Rogers foods for about 4 months and I still like it. Peanut butter shouldn't be eaten in large quantities. My love for startrek has increased, for starwars decreased, for stargate increased. Though girls are crazy, it's me that's the problem. If we are incapable of actually sensing the spiritual, then we have to believe whatever shows us the most power, and since technology without understanding can seem like magic, we're screwed. True love is comparable to drug addiction, at first it's just fun and exciting, but that turns into a powerful need, and one can be weaned off over time but not without withdrawals. Most people daydream about... wait I haven't a clue, but they probably don't fantasize about creating electronically based intelligence (not artificial intelligence). They only reason I ride my bike to school is because I've become desperate to save money... sometimes misplaced values pave the road to good things. When I say the word "God" i don't feel right, it's not actually his name ( biblically speaking), so I've started referring to him as "hey you!" ( if rejects me because of that then he doesn't want me for me). Kevin Bacon has a name and is omnirelational within 7 degrees of separation. Love, the addiction, will not save this world, love, the choice, will. There's a reason why people love House and Cox, my guess is because we live in a world of fluffy love everything lets not hurt peoples feelings your not annoying your different your not painfully stubborn your strong willed make love not war follow your heart church bred men who can't say fuck when they want to don't offend the gays respect your elders by not telling them when their assholes when they clearly are run from confrontation words like idiot are not PC kinda world. ( say that three times fast). I'll count it gain if I start using the word idiot more often. I want a music consult. I'm not kidding, I seriously believe I have the basic design for creating intelligence. I miss ignorance and pokemon.

Realization!

2008-09-09T14:25:00.000-07:00

My idea of heaven, with respect to my current desires, would be a peaceful society of exploration... in other words, star trek.

somethings are better left unsaid

2008-08-10T22:38:00.000-07:00

Remember, lets not get ahead of ourselves. Just because we get one chance a thousand times, doesn't mean our failures don't hurt.

"Like a spider bite that infects the skin, it grows in my head. Something that should have brought peace is reigning terror. It all seems well and good until it's not all well and good. We are lost." - D. Walters

La-haze-ee

2008-08-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

Someone should give me an update... i'm tired

S.L. is not... worth it

2008-07-10T08:51:00.000-07:00

I'm so angry with you!!!! When we were together we were such a good team, yes we had our differences and yes you didn't make parts of my life easy, but we had such an understanding. Why did you have to do what you did, why did you have to become such a bitch?!?! I hate you so much! It's as like when you were leaving, you made is so that I'd feel as much pain as possible. The ways I use to ease the pain have become ineffective. You became a monster! I had to let you go! You weren't doing me any good, you have to understand that. I can't get you off my mind, the pain is just to close. You have left scares that will always be there to remind me of the pain you put me through! I do get some satisfaction in the fact you'll never be able to hurt me or anyone every again.
I'll be much happier without you and you're poison!

"Dancing makes you smarter!!!" -A. Einstein

2008-06-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

Follow me on this one. I'm at a concert last night and I really wanted to dance. The problem was, it's a concert and all focus is on stage. It just didn't have that dancing atmosphere that you'd find, say at a wedding.
I imagine there is a lack of good ol' fashioned dancing here in chilliwack, and I'm not talking about the humpin' an bumpin' at clubs that grosses out everyone who's not doing it, but the kind of dancing where everyone is laughing, letting out their inner groove, and for some of us, making everyone else feel good about the way they're dancing by "imitating" Kevin Bacon in Footlose.
HOLD ON, let me finish. Many people would say "I can't dance" or "I look like a fool, hoppin' around." The truth is, you're probably right. You probably do suck if you say that, but what better place to finally get out there and show everyone that you really do suck, than a hall full of bad dancers, listening to Billy Joel, Gun's and Roses, and U2?
There is a lack of "wholesome" things to do in this town and it's time we step up and have fun our way!

Wedding Dance, Without the Wedding coming soon

Fires suck without darkness.

2008-06-16T22:46:00.000-07:00

Update: I love hockey and, consequently, my cheesedogs... regardless the score. I still haven't seen Commando. I understand that rest is important, however, you may only appreciate it when you've been pushed to the edge ( take my advise and go there). Portion balance is not limited to just food, and I'm not talking about the obvious. My day is greatly affected by the amount of time spent on making my lunch. Please stop chewing with your mouth open. I'm in love with a girl, she's small, not very talkative, and ( she might be angry that I'm telling you this) has a problem soiling herself. I believe democracy is a dictatorship of many, or at least thats what it should be. I've increased the use of the word f***. Don't ask. Love is... never mind, you wont care anyway. How can I pass up free rentals, thanks future shop. You want to learn leadership, coach hockey. Chuck Norris would lose to Kevin Bacon in a dance off. A part of me is dying... good riddins!! Love is... even if you do care you wouldn't do anything about it. I've had too many extremes lately, and trust me, wisdom and anger don't mix. Juggling keeps me sane. You wont believe me but my addiction is fading, no crypticness here, chocolate is losing it's touch. -DELETED-. I'm out of socks, which I hate, but need. Selflessness does NOT exist, if it did, there would be a lot more suicides. Love is... well, not what you think.

Time to step up!

2008-06-11T18:37:00.000-07:00

Vocal majority! Who's with me!
We already complain about everything, all we have to do is complain to the right people.

Righteous Selfishness

2008-05-15T16:26:00.000-07:00

Fight for what you want and if in the end you don't get it, you can at least say you tried.

DECHEATED

2008-05-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

DELETED! It needed to be done.

Top Ten: Excuses

2008-04-15T22:03:00.000-07:00

Top Ten excuses for ditching someone

10. My nose wont stop bleeding
9. My dog is stuck in the furnace ducts
8. I poop every time i laugh
7. I pissed off a group of women's rights activists
6. My best friend is having girl problems
5. My mom got off the phone and wont stop crying
4. The fridge is broken and we have ice cream and steaks
3. So You Think You Can Dance is on
2. My urine smells like frootloops

and the number one excuse for ditching someone

1. Sooo, there's this girl and....

Do you feel it?

2008-04-03T22:44:00.000-07:00

Breath in and feel it, is it real, or is it a moment that fades with the wind?
I have felt it, but I don't believe it. If I could just grasp the one thing that makes all mankind continue on and forget the evil that is our choices. I am caught in a storm, one without sides, without a purpose. But that lack of purpose seems to be the purpose, as if our confusion is the curriculum.
Breath in and feel it, is it there, or do you just want it to be?
I have felt it, but I don't want to believe it. I am void of the void, yet I feel incomplete. Why? Because I must? Because I'm told to? Because he haunts me or wont let me go? When all is lost, when anger seems pointless, we win.
Breath it in and feel it, is it wrong, or is it a step in the right direction?
I have felt it, but I can't believe it.

It's all there, just doesn't make sense.

2008-03-14T00:36:00.000-07:00

Update: I haven't gone for a bike ride this year. There is much joy in the first word. I wanted to be prime minister, now I don't even know what is good for our country. The sheep complain about how the shepherd doesn't get the sheep to move, no wonder God calls us sheep. Love is like chocolate, you eat too much of it and it hurts. I hate white socks. Love has so many different meanings, only man could lump it into one word. AI makes sense in my head, I think I grasp the basics of how the brain works, philosophy is my joy, but women scare and confuse me. Kevin Bacon is more human than human. Is she right? If God is timeless, when, think about it, did he create time. Panago pizza is expensive but it's some of the best, beaten only by LG's pizza. Spoon. Emotions are not our enemy, however, they are not fit for leadership. My shoulder still hurts. I miss swimming. Hiding in plain sight is harder than being alone in plain sight. Guys are often over-dramatic. I have said and done countless stupid things, and what have I learnt?... I can't stop saying and doing stupid things. Make sure to rinse the toothpaste out WELL after you brush. I only want to listen to your poetry if you have raised children. Hockey is a gift from God. Skinny does not mean healthy, overweight is not a sufficient of unhealthy. If there is one truth that is simultaneously the most important truth and painfully vague, it is this, " if you're doing something without love, you are doing it wrong!"

no need to cry

2008-02-22T10:58:00.000-08:00

Everyone faces hard times, situations that overwhelm any optimism. However, most of the time those around you will pick up on it, or you will tell them, and they'll help you cope, or you will find an escape, though unhealthy, it still works. But then there are times when no one knows and there is no escape. This is a scary time. The truth is, it'll pass, and any logical person knows this, but those feelings of being alone and hopeless horrifically distort logic in the worst way possible. You justify hating everyone, even those you wished were there to help you through. You begin to doubt your life and everything you believe in. You think everyone is against you and that no one truly cares. These moments should not happen.
I have experienced this kind of moment three times in my life, once just recently. Now, this isn't a cry for sympathy, because I don't need it, the moment has past and the emotions are gone. I'm writing this as a reminder to everyone to ask how their friends are doing. Don't let them get away with "fine." Everyone is dealing with something, whether or not it is something that is tearing them up inside or that they just need to talk about.
Responsibility comes with knowledge, if you read this and agree, you are now responsible to do it, I now know I am.

Follow your mind

2008-01-22T18:39:00.000-08:00

Warning System crash imminent................. system overload..... operating systems corrupt.... Calculating possibilities............. only probably solution...... SYSTEM REBUILD.

Objectively speaking, creation inevitably follows destruction.

Reality Check

2007-12-05T13:57:00.000-08:00

So you may have heard the statistic that the population of vancouver consists of approximately 51% immigrants. When I first heard this I was troubled. Tell me how one who claims to be against racism can have a response like that. I cannot tell you why I responded like that but I can tell you I felt like an asshole. Today, I got my hair cut at Great Clips in Abby. Though I claim to be non-racist, I was disappointed when I was called up by a foreign lady (later she told me she was from Iran). Now, don't get me wrong, I know many people of different races and I have no negative attitudes towards them, it's just that from time to time I'll find myself being, for lack of a better word, a dick. The hairdressers name is Farshide. She told me how her and her family had to escape Iran, that none of her extended family came with them, and that they left to avoid troubled times. Who the 'f' am I to even have negative feelings towards people who want a better life. I understand that avoiding trouble isn't always the case for immigration, but still, I have no right to have that bad attitude! I've heard that because of interracial breeding, blondes will eventually become extinct. I'll be honest with you, that bothered me. In fact, I feared the loss of blondes! who am I, hitler? When I think logically, I wouldn't be racist in anyway, but sometimes I find myself having the most ridiculous thoughts. I'm thankful for reality checks.

Please don't miss read this and take me for a racist, I'm just making an observation about myself. If you read this, I'd like to hear your input. Thank you!

Central Node of Craziness.

2007-11-26T00:09:00.000-08:00

Update: Both my brothers are married, one with a little person on the way, yay! I watched The Mist and was greatly affected. I find Douglas J Moo very refreshing. I don't owe anyone $100 (not including banks). Tasers don't have a good reputation. I've written over 35 pages of in the last couple of weeks. Timothy Olyphant is not a good hitman. There is no natural objective moral law. Emotions and I are in a relationship and we're always fighting. Perspective is everything. Sometimes repetition suggests importance. Perspective is everything. I still respect Kevin Bacon. Everybody is mad at everybody, when they think everybody is mad at everybody. The meek will inherit the earth. Meek does not include those who hide from confrontation. I feel good inside when I have balloons. I started drinking tea. I have yet to enjoy it. The kind of underwear I have on will have an effect on how my day goes. I hate pants. If truth is relative, then you will always be at war. I am sorry for pissing you off, all of you. Perspective is everything. I wonder if robots can love, well it seems that way.

cool

2007-11-12T17:09:00.000-08:00

No heart of stone!

2007-06-21T17:57:00.000-07:00

A feeling inside, it is not alone
I was wrong. No heart of stone

I want control, I want order
I want life within a border

But damn this fool, he knows so little
A brash young man, can't solve his own riddle

A feeling inside, not my friend
it seems to drive me to my end

But in that dark, there is a light
that hurts so bad, I shouldn't fight

Yet here I am, in my battle stance
I'll run ahead, without a lance

I see more, than I can handle
I'm given a gift, which I vandle

No more to say, my light is dim
Watch me know, I'll fight for Him

Jaysa

2007-06-12T14:03:00.000-07:00

Well isn't that just wonderful. Weddings, I love em. Free food, crazy dancing, chocolate fountains (no cream puffs though!), people in good spirits, and of course the celebration of two friends dedicating their lives to each other. What better time is there to do the YMCA! As of now, this is 1 of four weddings that I'll be attending this summer. I like summer.

More than just an actor!

2007-06-05T15:22:00.000-07:00

Update: We moved to a townhouse on First Ave. The definition of a job doesn't always include pay. Melissa is in Toronto for too long. I'm upping my polo shirt quota. I don't give a crap about Paris Hilton. There are no more unwelcomed visitors. Steve Anderson is going to Summit next year. I probably will never own another cat other than Mooch. Facebook is winning. I love Chilliwack. The more you volunteer for Chilliwack, the better chance you have for helping out at the 2010 Olympics. Kevin Bacon is more than just an actor. Chilliwack General Hospital has flood protection and evac plans for 2 floors above ground level. Todd Hale will be missed. Some people say Christianity is a crutch... I agree. I missed the moment when guys wearing hair bands became cool. The reason for the decay in morality and nobility is in the choices we should have made but didn't because we were on facebook and such. I still don't like tomatoes. Too many conversations about Kevin Bacon make people look at you differently. I hate socks. A revolution requires change, yet we are still doing the same damn things. I despise stepping on a slug in my bare feet. I hope we can fly in heaven.

MUCHAS CALORES

2007-05-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

Wow, two days in a row! Guatemala is an amazing place. There are delicious mango trees as common as rasberries bushes. yesterday we went to a prison. Strangly enough it was called ¨Canada.¨ This place use to be named ¨little hell¨ but now that the churches have been allowed to minister to the inmates, it has become a model system for other prisons in Guatemala. I am overwhelmed by this place.
Update: 4 scorpions, 2 mother toads, millions of ¨dumb bugs¨, 100% omega diareah, amazing guatemalan food, not so amazing beans and rice, new found appreciation for flushing toilets, awkward sunburns, the cutes duckling i´ve ever seen, mudhuts with televisions, and a very friendly people. Out of time, gotta go, adios.

2007-05-09T18:07:00.000-07:00

Hola! Hope you´re all enjoying your summer. Yes that´s a bug that haunts my dreams, gotta go!!

2007-04-12T16:17:00.000-07:00

April 7 2007- The Golden Nugget

2007-04-11T01:25:00.000-07:00

Words can't explain

2007-04-06T13:19:00.001-07:00

could it be?

I don't even like milk.

2007-03-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

http://s81.photobucket.com/albums/j211/jasper10122/?action=view¤t=PUKEDDAYS.flv

I can be kinda stubborn

The Taff

2007-03-10T23:06:00.000-08:00

Be still my heart.

The Last Ten Minuets

2007-02-22T00:22:00.000-08:00

Oh the last ten minuets. There is nothing quite like it. Emotions are raw, fresh, and real. Your eyes take a gander at the clock and the realization that there's no turning back hits you like a tonne of neatly stacked foolscap. Review will prove useless. You can do nothing but accept your fate and write that awful exam. I love watching peoples reaction to this emotional paradox. It makes me happy inside, not their pain or frustration, but the sincerity of the moment. Too little do we experience real emotion. We fake our need for chaos with our drive to succeed and create "stability." The Bible says to remain sober in all things, but I'll bet that doesn't condemn emotions altogether. Most of the time I avoid emotions to ensure objectivity and stability, but there are times that indulgence in this chaos seems like the only solution to whatever ails me. I believe that we are capable of facing logical paradoxes that have no reasonable solution, and if our thoughts dwells on it, the mind would shut down. Unlike a computer that shuts down in time of absurdity, we simply give into emotions. Some cry, others yell, and sometimes people even giggle. I'll tell you this, there is nothing quite like a complete loss of order in the mind. If you've never experienced this, I hope one day you do, because life without it, is life without purpose.

*If this makes no sense to you please ask me about it. This is in the core of who I am and I'd love to share it with you.

2007-02-08T20:30:00.002-08:00

What a night!! or week, I can't remember. What I do know is that at some point I got frisky with the refrigerator and trust me the ice dispenser is not very forgiving.

Bottle Drive returns: $250... only $17,000 to go.

Repeating Individuality

2007-01-27T22:43:00.000-08:00

Missions Fest 2007! Five pens, 8 business cards, and 2 DVDS./ People I saw there: Debbie L, Carmen (Not Ladd) Johnson, Steve Johnson, Darryl Mann, and Chris H./ I had the pleasure of hearing the Acappella group "Rescue" ( that was awesome) and the survival story of Gracia (I already forgot her last name).
On a side note, I really don't know what love is, but when you can't shake a feeling, one must be suspicious.

2007-01-21T18:23:00.000-08:00

Why do we fall? So we learn to pick ourselves up... or because we forget snow is slippery

Watch the Video!!! http://s81.photobucket.com/albums/j211/jasper10122/?action=view¤t=MOV00582.flv

more than just a bus

2007-01-19T22:07:00.000-08:00

What’s Import money or people

What would you do if you see me in the streets with no
name? Will you say something or nothing at all? Am I
just a ghost of Your past or just an another stranger
looking for a handout? I’m either a ghost or looking
for a handout. I’m just a broken man, once your friend
that you met last year. It's funny how your life went up
and mine went down like god and the devil were playing
snakes and ladders with real people. People pass me by
without saying a word. I had lots of friends at one
point but in time people change when they have money
in their pockets so I sit here thinking about all the
broken friendships in the cold street with no name,
can’t remember what street because I pass so many
streets that I don’t care anymore. I help other people
find the place where they are going. For most of
the time I sit here alone not cold but tired doing the
same thing every night. It's funny how I can destroy my
old friends with their secrets I know, but I won’t
because I’m a better man. I promise that I will die
with their secrets and I’m a man of my word. It's also
funny That the city changes in day and night. In the day
time I see people go to work or go shopping but in the
night time I see the same people go into bars/pubs and
restaurants. I’m not sad or mad for how I live or is it
a lifestyle I can’t remember. I walked the same streets
twice. people try to help me, I let them but sometimes
I tell them that other people need it more than I do.
It’s amazing how you can learn from the streets that
you can’t learn from school. We need more love not
money. When did money take over our lives and how did
it replace love over your fellow man. I think we need
to lose this curse and try to make this world a better
place. I've been told that money can change the world but
I think that's a line of crap, I mean money can’t buy
love and/or friendship, you have to earn those two.
Besides I want real friends not fake friends so I sit
here in the streets of no name. When I‘m here with you
I’m free from money, I‘m here to say hello to my new
friends I met in the streets. It brings a tear to my
eyes when you said hello back to me.

© 2007 Leemoore Tomagatick

*any comments regarding the poem will go to the author.

A time for reflection

2006-12-18T01:00:00.000-08:00

Schools out! My brother is getting married on the 23rd (don't ask). I've had a record number of "deep" conversations in the last three days. The canker sore in my mouth is driving me crazy. Tea tree oil is good for you skin. I'm uping my dress shirt quota. I love heroes! Conversations are only good if you have something to talk about. Talking about something is only good if you're having a conversation. I find my desire for truth strangely close to my desire to make myself happy. Technology is moving way too fast. Wisdom is more desire than it is experience. I'm switching to 34/36. Avoiding simple truths only makes us despise the inevitable. My success is only a sign of good training from somewhere else, thus making credit hare to place. My life is like the raccoon, who's hand wont come out of the jar because he wont let go and try a different way.

Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God. Matthew 5:8

The will of Frosty

2006-11-30T23:59:00.000-08:00

How long will he last? What are his motives? What does he want from us? These are the questions that plague Hale and I. We are unsure as to the length of his stay. We've both thought about "disposing" of our friend but there is something holding us back, something beyond our understanding. I'm starting to feel as though Frosty is controlling our actions and thoughts. I found myself turning the heat up even though it was already hot. I'm sorry to anyone I've neglected. I have priorities now.
Stay frosty!

Where are my boots?!

2006-11-27T17:53:00.000-08:00

Man that's a lot of sno...wait a minute!! That's not Fort Nelson!! What's going on?!

Dignified chaos

2006-11-19T22:40:00.000-08:00

There are only a few moments in our lives that will prove to man that you are more than what is predictable. Every once in a while our eyes are opened and we reach for that moment to be great!!! Then, you hit that mark!! There is nothing like it..... nothing, good nor bad. It starts out being indefinable. No standard by which we can compare. A well of questions that call for no answers. A stalemate of the mind. Then you realize the error. It's the balance. Perfect. Unbiased. Deceiving. There is no product of your goal. A prize void victory. You can't be happy or sad. A paradox of emotion. No side brings comfort. Then, like two colliding fists, the polarities meet. You change. You don't know how, but your template is broken. You see with new eyes old light. Heroes and villains blur. Like I said, there is nothing like it... good nor bad.

2006-11-15T16:48:00.000-08:00

I hope I don't sound too cheezy, but I can honestly say God is doing something in my life. I've seen things that I thought were beyond me. There's still doubt but it takes more faith to not believe then it does to believe. I just felt the need to say this.

2006-11-08T21:25:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, I had to.

I've waited too long...

2006-11-07T20:09:00.000-08:00

Then it hits me, like a forgotten speeding ticket. My enemy is back. The war begins. Again. I never win. I always run. A lost memory consumes my mind and tears down my strong hold of independence, which turns out to be entirely dependent. I wanna blame those that constitute my "environment" but that would be lazy. This time must be different. Change is my only hope. Any connection I still have with that little boy will be lost without change. I see a lump of knots. It infuriates me just thinking of it. I wanna run, I hate this part of me, I want to scream. It rots like road kill. I can't get use to the stench. Nothing masks it!! That horror that I wish so desperately to be taken away is stuck to me like a gum to hair. If I cut it out I lose some of who I am, except I don't think It'll grow back. Admission is helpful, but my stomach turns to write this.

2006-10-22T15:07:00.000-07:00

" EAT IT!"

2006-10-21T13:20:00.000-07:00

I hope it's not contagious!

2006-10-02T13:51:00.000-07:00

look closer.....

WARNING: This is not a toy!

2006-09-16T20:31:00.000-07:00

ahhh, pain. Shootin' it up at Adrenaline. ouch

I just finished a six pack of AWESOME

2006-09-13T08:47:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been an awesome week an a half. Started college, met a lot of cool people, and I bought a mac. yay! Seriously though, I've only been here a short time, but I've learnt a lot about myself. I'm in a program called omega, and part of the curriculum is two ministries (ie children's church, senior homes, streetministry). My group is doing street ministry in Vancouver and, we're planting a church in mission. School work is starting to pile up, well it's not that much it's just that I got dumber since high school and any school work is a challenge. Trying to avoid freshmen 15 by going to the gym. Questions, comments concerns?

the not so fresh, freshmen

2006-09-06T17:38:00.001-07:00

Day 3 of school activities. Life's been pretty rushed since I got home. I've been a little overwhelmed lately with life, but I'm still standin'. I feel a little out of place still but I guess that will change. The truth is I just wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday.... and maybe have a pizza.

All good things must come to an end

2006-08-26T16:03:00.000-07:00

Ft. Nelson aka "Ft. Nowhere," "..the ass crack of BC...," "hell, frozen over." The truth is, I don't wanna leave just yet. There's many a good people here that I'm gunna miss. I'm really lookin forward to school, but it's hard to leave something that you've become so attached to. I've spent a total of a year and ten months up here, and in that time my life has changed, considerably. I hope I don't lose what I've gained up here. Hats off to ya Ft. Nelson.

whud up?

2006-08-17T22:47:00.000-07:00

Favorite.....

quote-"wake up in the morning, drink a cup of bitch juice and start your day in victim land." S.R.G.

movie- matrix (the first one}

actor- Arnold Schwarzenegger

actress- Jennifer Connolly

food- chocolate

color combo- blue/orange

vehicle- El Camino

day of the week- Thursday (relative question)

hang out- Chelsie C's old house

roommate- Huey

song- eye of the tiger (relative)

book- prelude to foundation

lonely escape- video game

feel free to comment with YOUR answers, if you think these questions are LAME, I really don't care, but if you feel creative please make different questions

2006-08-14T20:43:00.000-07:00

there was a time...

Thoughtful abyss

2006-08-13T17:17:00.000-07:00

I woke up the other day in total panic because I had no feeling and no use of my left arm. I also defined faith as a placebo. I've defined the difference between smart and otherwise by the duration one takes to draw conclusions, intelligence has a longer duration time. I came to the conclusion that Marshal Mathers will never find love. I realized that for myself, that my daydreams are meant to stay daydreams and not be manifested into book/movie/anything other than my thoughts. By making lots of mistakes you can prepare yourself to a point where mistakes are lacking, but once the environment changes you realize there is an infinite number of mistakes therefore the realization that all life is, is a series of mistakes and how you use one mistake to create another. Smoking has more people joining and less people quitting than Christianity. Arnold Schwartsanegger is a greater man than he seems(I refer you to my comment about mistakes). People only want to be around you if it benefits them, the people who don't realize that need help. Good food, sleep and exercise are required for a joyful life. Brittany Spears isn't pretty like I use to think. Someone who's meant to be alone but tries otherwise makes a fool of themselves. Someone who cannot be happy without a significant other and is alone is suffering more than they could admit to themselves. Up is relative.

who's this guy??

2006-08-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

a message not taken lightly

2006-07-19T16:01:00.000-07:00

Dear boy,

I'm sorry I'm late. For the most part I'm too late. I wish I could tell you what to do, what not to do, who you should trust and who you should punch. Don't eat so damn much and don't talk to people just cuz they listen. Make people angry, don't try to please, don't fear their anger. Push yourself and don't believe people just cuz they talk. I know how it is. You may not understand yet but you will. It's not easy, and sometimes you want to freak out and hurt someone. Why haven't you!!! What's holding you back! You've never done it, so what are you fucking afraid of!! show them what's inside and don't fear the recoil until you've seen it. Stop eating and go do something. Don't blame it on them, just do it! The obstacles may have been put there by others but it is YOU who will climb them. I wish you would stop talking and think! Take a look around!! And when someone makes fun of you don't just take it, do what should be done, you know what that is!!!..... Again, I'm sorry I haven't shown up till now. There are somethings that probably wont change. However, there are still many things that can be corrected, and we'll work together to change them. The tears will help.

A mission

2006-07-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

What ever has come of us....? We have followed a path dictated by the attitude which obeys the body. We use the body as a scapegoat only furthering the destruction of our minds. We then separate ourselves from others in a desperate attempt for repentance, only to be bound to our ignorance. The level at which we truly understand ourselves is commonly viewed as "too complex" when if fact that understanding was the designated norm of thinking. The problem is the degenerating attitude that holds us back from our destination. What are we then to do....? If we can understand the separation between mind and body, we will see the body is unstable and kept in check with the mind. Therefore, the mind is not a war with the body, but somewhere in the mind lurks an attitude that wants to destroy the control of the body. If we can understand this (with a little more complexity of course), we will begin to see everything in a different light. Pain will become practice, laziness will become distasteful, hatred will serve nothing, love will become real and not of the stars. Inner peace will not need to exist because we will be one, eliminating "sides." All this and more can be yours at a small price of three easy payments of $9.99.

2006-07-04T16:43:00.000-07:00

Things I miss in Chilliwack......

-mountains
-cultus
-warm rain
-smalltown City life
-going to Silvercity with Steve
-lunch at the Mullers
-Mooch and Lou
-more than 4,ooo people
-the "drama"
-dark nights
-more than one street light (people go insane without order)
-Church... with pastors
-oh and yeah I guess I miss my friends too

Why are we here??

2006-06-27T14:53:00.000-07:00

Lorraine Watt

-a fellow Ft.Nelsonian

OSB- down time!

2006-06-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

"BIGGEST FIRE EVER," claims head Bigwig last Friday, Steven Mackey. The fire causing an estimated 21 million square feet of lost product, will put the Fort Nelson OSP plant on hold till, there best guess, July 3. No employs will be laid off in the process. In other news, Brett Gieselman of Chilliwack BC has recently become engaged. Sources indicate that Brett can no longer tie his own shoes and apparently has asked his soon to be wife to officially take over that responsibility. In fort Nelson, following the first and brutal wave of mosquitoes, noseeums have swarmed the town causing many citizens to curse in public and wave their arms like "cracked out hobos," states one local pedestrian. Our top story of the day, C.E.T.C (Canadian educational tests of Canada) have reported NFLD as "having the lowest scores in all categories." Our correspondence in NFLD could not get an interview with anyone due to lack of translators, and excessive fishing./

2006-06-02T00:58:00.000-07:00

Lou- 2005- 2006

2006-06-02T00:42:00.000-07:00

After a long night at work, I decided to go for a swim at the local pool. I go for a swim and then relax in the hot tub. As the stars would have it, I end up sitting next to Josh Ward of Chilliwack BC. It turns out he's fighting forest fires in the same area./

Top 5 things to do when you need a laugh

5. watch anything with Will Farrell
4. dress up and act a whole day like the most annoying teacher you've ever had
3. (if you're morbid enough) shoot hampsters at passing cars with a three man slingshot
2. write a rap song describing your day a work, and when your done, add the "f" word and the end of every sentence

and the number one thing to do when you need a laugh....

1. talk to a Newfy

Stats

2006-05-27T19:41:00.000-07:00

may 27 2006

weight- 204 lb
gas price in ft.nelson- $1.25/L
monthly phone bill- approx. $70
time to swim 1k- 27min
Canadian dollar- worth $ 0.90 Us
people who are cool that still dance the macarena- 0
successful jokes told by me- 0

2006-05-26T23:32:00.000-07:00

Any resemblance?

Faith Stupid!!

2006-05-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

So here's a metaphor I've been working on that helps understand what the crap FAITH is(obviously this is just my opinion).

The Jar. A full jar represents knowledge, and a not so full jar represents lack of knowledge or belief. For example.... it's morning and you're on your way to work. You get in the car, turn the ignition, push petals, shift gears... whatever. Then you drive away. You made the decision (aware or not) to get in your vehicle with the belief that it's gunna work properly. You may or may not know there's gas, oil, trans. oil, brakes, and many other things on the vehicle that you can "know". But what about the other things you can't or don't know about. For instance, (if your not a grease monkey) your engine mechanics. When you get in that car, you have not checked the condition of the engine. You just trust that they will work properly. But who or what are you trusting in? How about the mechanic that worked on it, or the manufacturer who built it. That trust is what I define as faith. You don't know but you still make the decision to drive away. So, based on what you "know", before you get in, you don't have enough reasons to safely get in, your jar is not quiet full. However with the added trust or faith of the mechanic and manufacturer, you can substitute the gap. Now you have a full jar and can, with ease, drive away. In this metaphor, there are two factors; your experiences and knowledge about the car, and the trust you have in other people who've had something to do with the car. But how does this work with God? Well the first factor, knowledge and experience, you have to define. Some things that might fall under this category might be miracles, "touched" by the Holy Spirit, help or comfort in hard times, praying for your lost wallet and then finding it.. etc. A better word for this first factor is "personal evidence." Being personal, it's relative. You define the evidence. Lets say that you are filling the jar with "rocks." So each piece of evidence is a rock. There is little chance that you know everything is working properly in your car, so how much more do we not know about God. I think it's safe to say that it's impossible for us to "know" not believe, but know anything about God. Therefore, we can never fill the God jar. In this case the jar represents the decision to act on the belief in God, like the car jar represents the decision to drive on the belief that the car will not explode. Factor two. The trust. Since we are reaching for something beyond the physical, we cannot trust in other people. They may have it right, but they are on the same level as everyone else. So what can we trust. Some people might say God, but thats like defining a word using the word you are trying to define. What then is there to trust??? This is the million dollar question and it ain't easy. Ok lets start from the ground up. Our five senses. That's all our input. We have to look at what's around us. We can't look to the clouds or anything spiritual. We have to look around us. Ask yourself what are the greatest values that are most apparent in humanity. What is essential to our mental survival. If you disagree with me, then this whole thing is useless to you, but I think they are.... love, acceptance, comfort, and the most importantly, fairness. Fairness is why we have a justice system. It may be flawed but in theory it's what we want. The other values are protected when things are fair. What I'm saying is that to fill the rest of the jar, we must trust in things being fair. People aren't fair, but since that is the main drive in us, our creator most likely holds that quality too. Now ask yourself this, if a non-believer (in anything), says "whatever's out there, I truly want to know what you are and what you want me to do, I'll keep searching, but I'm gunna keep doing what I'm doing until something else comes up" would a fair god allow that person to continue on the wrong path? So with the rocks of personal evidence, and the trust or faith, in universal fairness, one could safely say "I believe in something!." With faith alone one cannot survive, we need those rocks, we need to experience something beyond what we can define as chance.

This is a relatively new concept to me, therefore its is riddled with holes. Feel free to tear it apart. I well revise on a regular basis. Please don't hold back. I promise I wont cry.

Time of unrest in the rebellion

2006-05-23T15:51:00.000-07:00

"When things are going good, why not shake things up a little, and do something stupid"
-Paulmanguy

I'm working nights right now and that really messes with your system. / RT- what if no religion has it right and we will be solely judged by the way we treat Cats/ Top ten things to do when your down
10.cry
9.destroy someone
8. dance to "Y.M.C.A."
7. make eyes with the opposite sex (same sex if you are.. uhh.... you know)
6. break glass
5. draw a picture of your dream house
4. talk to a friend (preferably someone who doesn't want your body)
3. talk about it on your blog (not really, these things will be the end of our society)
2. exercise, keep your blood moving, and DON'T eat junk food
and the number one thing to do when your down.....

1....eat as much chocolate as humanly possible

*topten list researched at the University of Intercourse Penn (100 people survey)

2006-05-19T19:16:00.000-07:00

Ah ha!! So begins the ongoing adventures of ME. So in the past I've been anti-blog, but the stars have led me elsewhere. I hope to offer my fans more of me in this endeavor...........